Mask

Every one of us has a mask. Mask that we use to hide true self, emotions and feelings. When we are outside of our house, we often wear the ‘Happy’ mask, something that will lighten our aura for the whole day. Other people do not have an idea for what does that mask is hiding? What self, emotions and feelings can be found behind that mask? Some of us do not dare to explore these things because we have the possibility of having wrong assumptions.


I, myself, wear masks. I admit it. When I’m at school or other places, I wear the mask of courage, happiness, kindness, or anything that will make me feel better. Something that people will be happy for me. Some things that will make me feel confident enough to face the challenges that await me. But when I’m at home, I do not know what kind of mask I wear. I think I do not wear mask. That is why I became clumsy, irresponsible, impatient, impulsive and someone who can trigger the ‘world war III’. Why do I wear mask? Well, I think I cannot be clumsy, irresponsible, and impatient and will trigger world war III outside so I better yet be someone who can put things together.


However, masks do have holes. Holes that will somewhat show your true self. As for me, my mask has many holes. My holes are already mentioned above and these things hurt me so much. I always control myself not to become clumsy, irresponsible, impatient and impulsive but there are things that put me into failure. These obstacles in controlling my negative side give me burden. My parents become disappointed and mad at me because I failed to do things right. Yes, I do become great at school but when it comes to our family, I somehow become a failure. This gives me a feeling that I am happier at school than my house. Every weekend, there is no time that my parents will not be angry towards me. I feel that I often give them heart ache, someone who kept them disappointed and can shorten their life span. These things scratched my mask and somewhat add another hole. But then, I’m always do my best to fix things, there are just events and situations that is very uncontrollable.


Some people say, “Just be yourself”. Well I do not know what my real self is. I thought I knew. But when I reflect, I do things differently. I am different at school and at home. I think I’m a total disaster at home and an achiever at school. Now that I just said these things, I will try to know who I really am. And I pray to God that I can be able to find it before it is too late. Maybe you might give me a clue, haha!.


P.S. I do not put my parents into blame. I am not giving them a bad image. I think I have always the problem and not them.

Attitude :D

For me, Atitude is the way how we perceive things within ourselves and even from our environment.

'How' means the process of our thinking and 'Perceive' means our understanding towards something. This word - Attitude - is greatly applied in unfolding the wonders of what we call "Life".

Life is a very complex word. There are a lot of definitions attached to it from different people with different perspectives.Some define life with negative connotations such as sufferings, pains, difficulties and so on. But others describe life as something positive like happiness, love, having friends and etc. It is definitely true that life can be describe within the two given context but Why  is it people do have different perspectives or views about Life? Some people might argue about this and give their own logical explanations. There could be different answers such as the environment they belong, the influences of their family, their culture, or their own ATTITUDE. Attitude is something personal that people have. They might not be conscious about it but they have.

what I learned in Psychology is that we cannot change our environment but we can change our attitude towards our environment. This realization is supported by some of the books of Andrew Matthews, "Follow Your Heart" and "Being Happy". These books helped me to realize that in able for me to change my environment, I must change my attitude first. We cannot control our environment, the free will of our friends and classmates, the behaviors of our professors, but we can control ourselves. We can change our views about taking challenges or risks like reducing the "load" of the word "challenge" into "letting myself grow". I can support these statements from my personal experiences with my mother.

Before I view her as a "nagger" type of mom, I always get irritated every time she shouted my name to do chores but when I learned to change my attitude towards her behavior to me like im saying to myself that "she only shouted my name due to my slow responses. Okay, I will response to her immediately now." and it works! (I did not say that it worked during the day but it took some time like months) I change my attitude to her "shouting" tone and she also change her approaches to me. However, I sometimes slipped off my tongue and fired up her hot-tempered side of personality but i just keep on reminding myself about my atitude. I also apply this to my friends and classmates in school. And i evaluated my self and i see the progress. Honestly, before i was very hot-tempered and easily get irritated, but now i am more positive in mind (though, my body does not really illustrate the positivism.. hahaha!) and

can somehow control myself.  My change in attitude about challenges brought me to where i am now. I received something that I ,myself, cannot believe that "I CAN". I felt like "is this really me?? :)))" (with a funny face). My parents said "Si Joyce kasi may pagka-late bloomer" and I totally admit it. :))) Atleast it is NOT too late..

haha!

In conclusion, I view Life with different difficulities but then these difficulties will be overcome if we change our attitude for the better. We all have the capacity to change, though it is not that easy and it will take time, but then we will not be able to achieve it if we will not get started. We must exert effort first to make our life moving. We must have to weigh the possibilities of every changes that we will make because every action has its  equivalent results. Be courageous to jump off our comfortable bed and explore life.

God has Beautiful plans for us, we will not be able to know it if we will not going tostand up, walk and start doing change that will greatly affect the way of life that we have now.. :D

I guarantee that we will have the happiness that we haven't experience before.. :)

Godbless and thank you for reading my note.. hahahhaha!

PS im not that really good at this but atleast i started something. Improvement is always at hand.. hahahaha!!

Me, Myself and I

I first heard these words in a Nestea commercial and I found it funny. Everytime I watched it, I always smiled and laughed butI never really understand the meaning of these three words, until I realized recently thatthese words are the things that sometimes people forget. We tend to give ourselves to others without having an assurance if we are ready. My parents said that in order for me to love others, learn to love myself first. They did not meant for us to be greedy towards others but to be able for me to give my genuine love i must learn to accept my own self first. Then i will be able to understand others as well. 

For me, It is the same as the first 'must' in the field of psychology, Understand yourself first before others. As i interpreted this, it is easier to us toextend our hands and understand your own personality before others. Why? Because life is a mirror or reflection of yourself.We can understand others if we understand ourselves. It is easy for us to give love, trust and positive responses to othersif we fill ourselves with these things. If we allow ourselves grow, we will also meet people who are mature enough to spend our time with.We can't totally trust others if we have doubt within ourselves.

I always like to help people to improve their self-worth. I like to encourage them but this will be a waste of time if they will not help themselves.Giving self-worth to oneself is an effort to an individual. If he will not help himself, nothing will happen and he just keep on burying himself in self-pity and disappointments. I would like to encourage my friends to take their responsibility for their self-improvement. Help themselves to help others. The very last thing on earth that we will have is OURSELVES so it is better to take a good care of it.

As side of God's gift of life, He also gave us the chance to take care of ourself.. We must fill ourselves with happiness, love, trust and we can be true to others.. :)

My Greatest Year of Change

Year 2011 is really one of the most difficult year sa family ko.. at sa akn.. na naghatid sa amin sa mas malaking pagbabago.

Pinakaspecial na nangyari sa amin naung taon eh ung nagkarun na kami ng sariling bahay.. as in wala nang renta renta.. may sarili na kming kwarto.. at may lugar na ung kapatid ku kung saan xa magaalat.. xD pero,, isa ding challenge sa parents ko ang magkarun ng bahay lalo na mga panahon na to.. dalawa na kming nasa college at ung binabayaran sa school ay ndi biro.. pero my parents face that risk na magkarun kmi ng utang na tatagal ng mga 10 years sa pagbabayad.. because of this, meju nagalangan ako tumuloy ng pagmemed.. kasi nakaramdam ko na need ku na sila tulungan sa mga binabayaran.. studying again for more like 6 years with this kind of depths eh super hirap.. Scholarship? Well ndi din kmi tatanggapin sa scholarship.. kasi meju nasa taas ng border ung income ng parents ko.. academic scholarship? Waaa mahirap din.. haha tamang studyante lng nmn ako at bka ndi ku mamantain.. well.. humans can’t predict the future.. so ndi dpt ako gumawa ng decision na baka pagsisihan ko sa pandang huli.. kelangan ku lng gawin eh to give my best  sa today.. hahaha!

Sa studies.. hmm im doing very well.. naging presidente ako ng isang organization na kht minsan ndi ku naisip n mangyayari sa akn.. xD stdying while managing an organization sa school eh sobrang challenging.. (lagi kong ginagamit ung ‘challenging’ na word noh.. haha kasi mas magnda pakinggan kesa sa risk.. xD) mantaining my grades and psych soc.. grbe.. haha ndi ku naisip dati na magiging busy person ako sa extracurricular activities.. this really CHANGED my perspectives in life.. para sa akn sa naun.. being responsible sa mga decisions and getting of my comfort zone will make me grow as a person.. ndi lng ako tumayo at humakbang palabas.. TUMALON pa ako..  wew.. hahaha! The lord gave me chance to lead.. and to see my self as a leader.. kht na mahirap.. alam ku na magiging masaya din kming lahat sa huli.. alam kudin dti na, i will not be able to please everybody.. kht anung gawin ko.. may kontrabida padin.. but then, that’s life.. hahaha! The Room for improvements never close. Natutunan ku din dtu na.. kht,  disappointed sa mga bagay bagat,, ndi ku dpt isisi sa iba ung disappointment na nakuha ko.. imbis na manisi ako.. gagamitin ku na lng ung time na yun para gumawa ng pagbabago..

Sa social life ko.. hmmm haha aun.. masaya nmn.. i find time to enjoy and explore things.. like going to north edsa.. going to cubao.. going to somewhere.. haha! Inshort.. finding time to make some gala.. ndi nmn ako nabubuhay para lng magaral.. xD ang study nmn eh para sa future ko at sa family ko.. pero kung puro aral lng ako.. wenks.. ndi ako makakasaby sa daloy ng buhay.. im always happy with my friends, classmates, course, doing something in UD-CYA.. at madami pang iba. Haha ang dami noh.. IM JUST NOT WASTING MY TIME.. kht na minsan feeling ko parang ubos na lagi ung oras ko.. but then, God always give me extra time for my personal activities..

This year.. God really gives miracles and blessings to my family and to me.. He’s taking care of us.. while we are awake.. and giving us a peaceful sleep.. narealize ku din this year na.. just let God to handle things while doing my own part as a person like living and giving importance to the life that he gave me..

God is a faithful to us.. i just need to trust and be faithful to him to make things right..

Favorite qout ku naun eh..

“LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH”

Oops.. isa pa pala.. haha Loving and serving people makes me happy now.. haha!

CHANGE? Definitely YES.