Surprise, Surprise! - God (a story of my Conversion)

My story of Conversion.. Story talaga kasi mahaba.. hahaha!

When my parents started to participate in Ligaya again, i was already in my 1st year highschool. I was 13 years old.. My parents did not actually gave us a background about what is LIGAYA, kung anu yung meron dun, bakit kami umaattend dun and so on. Ang alam ko lang na reason by then was that my grandparents, uncle and antie was also member there. So i thought it was really a requirement and a family LEGACY to continue. I was a typical teenager back then, - mareklamo, makulit, may attitude to disobey my parents, feeling independent, gustong gustong gumala kapag may pagkakataon, go with the flow lang (kung nasan ang magulang, andun din kami) at yung tipong naiilang kapag Diyos na ang pinaguusapan. Long and behold, LIGAYA is actually about God.. when my parents started to participate, bigla na lng akong nagtaka kung bakit kelangan naming gumising ng maaga para magsimba, at bakit hindi sa literal na simbahan, at iba pa.. I even thought before na Ligaya people are weird. Yung tipong bakit sila nagtataas ng kamay? Pati si dady, na yung tipong natatamaan na mukha ko.. haha in short, ndi ko feel ang ligaya by then. Wala akong kilalang ibang tao kungdi grandparents, tito, at tita ko.. friends? I did not have any really. At take note, YA na daw ako nun.. so “anu yung YA?? Wala nga akong kilala dun. Samantalang sila parang lumaki sa iisang village at yung tipong magkaklase pa simula nung nagaral sila..” Ganun lagi ung naiisip ko..

Nafifeel ko nun sa YA na i dont belong in here, these people were studying in private schools, (i particularly termed it as “mayayamang school”) na samantalang ako sa public highschool nag-aaral.. I cant speak english straight, or even conyo.. napaka-barok ko magenglish nung mga panahon na yun, kasi sa bahay namin hindi naman kami naguusap ng english.. kaya medyo naculture shock ako.. etu din ung time na sinama ako ng parents ko sa YA Camp, first ever main acitivty ko sa ligaya, yung tipong wala na akong magagawa kungdi pumunta kasi bayad na.. lagi ko ngang tanung sa parents ko kpg may retreat/camp/something event ng YA, “bayad na ba ako dyan? Kung bayad na ako, edi wala na naman akong choice kundi sumama eh.” Buong highschool life ko ganyan ako. Hindi na ako kinukulit ng parents ko nun nung bigla kong nasabi na “bakit niyu ba ako laging pinipilit sa mga bagay na ayoko namang gawin?” grabe noh? Parang nakakakonsensya pero ganun yung nararamdaman ko that time.. i ended YA being an inactive member.. super inactive,, kasi talagang minsan tinataguan ko yung mga YA worker, ang dami kong palusot para hindi pumunta sa event. Haha

Ayan ngcollege na ako, 1st year up to 2nd and half of my college life, YES! WALANG NANGUNGULIT SA AKIN SA LIGAYA.. hahaha though alam ko na may UD nun.. pero wala naman akong friends nung YA, so naisip ko na baka sila na nmn yung makita ko sa UD kaya parang wag na lng.. pero kapag si God talaga, laging nasa timing. He prepared me through my course, BS Psychology. Yung tipong pinakita nya sa akin na “I know that you know, you want a change. Gusto mo ng pagbabago sa buhay mo. And for you to achieve that, you have to open up yourself to everything that is new, and some kinda WIERD things.” And this is actually one of the basic principle in Psychology.. Etu talaga, so kaya ko nafeel na super God-given yung course ko.. pero hindi lang yan, inilapit pa ako kay nikki sandoval.. haha sya kasi yung nakakita sa akin sa SDE gathering ng parents ko. Nilapitan nya ako and biglang sinabi na “uy! Di ba UD ka na?” sagot naman ako, “uhm opo ata??” haha sabi naman nya “OO! UD ka na!! Anu number mo? May UD gath sa poveda, punta ka dun.. “ so ayan hindi na ako nakawala kasi personal na akong nilapitan kaya nakakahiya namang tumanggi.. so ayun punta ako ng Poveda. Tapos surprise surprise.. marunong sila magtagalog! Minsan lang sila magenglish! So naisip ko “uy ayos to ah.. makakasalita ako ng tuwid..” then hanggang sa natapos yung gathering, tapos surprise surprise ulit, pinakilala sa akin ni nikki yung AGL ko.. so nagulat naman ako kasi first time ko plng umatend ng gathering, may AGL agad.. hahaha! At yun ay si ate ceri talan.. iba tlga si Lord. Alam niya kung ano yung makakahatak sa akin. He knows that my greatest dream is to become a doctor.. at si ate ceri ey isang med student sa PLM.. so boom!! Sakto!! Naisip ko na “woooow!! Ang gandang opportunity to know kung pano maging med student!! Hindi ko na to palalampasin..” hahaha so kht ganun ung reason, God knows that it could be a stepping stone for me to know him more.. Through these people.. Then ayan, ag ag, punta punta sa pedro gil to meet them, have some segue interview about med student life, etc,. tapos pina-attend ako ni ate ceri sa CLS,, and it totally Change my life, ung talks, sobrang ang daming pinarealize sa akin ni Lord. I enjoyed being with CYA, until now, together with UD.. I really did not regret that I challenged my self to get out of my comfort zone to explore what does CYA and LIGAYA are meant to do.. Para sa akin, hindi man ako lumaking YA kid, hinanda at inantay padin ako ni Lord na dumating sa tamang oras for me to understand better what he wants me to know..

In conclusion, God really knows how to prepare us for the changes that our hearts really desire.. God really does not loose faith na babalik at makikilala ko din sya sa tamang panahon.. sobrang tyaga lang sa akin ni Lord.. Nagwork sya sa buhay ko nang hindi ko man lang napapansin.. narealize ko lng, nasa CYA na ako.. db? God really loves to surprise us.. and he never ever failed to do so.. Last na masasabi ko lang ay, God is always approaching us.. kelangan lang din nating huminto at lumapit din saknya ng kusa.. we just need to let Him do His work, and see every opportunity as a leading path to what God wants us to experience.. sabi nga ni Lord, “kahit anong iwas mo, hinding hindi ka padin makakatakas sa pagmamahal ko sayo..” 

The Simplest

Its been 2 weeks after my 20th birthday. We celebrated it simply with my family. I think, this was the first time I spent my birthday at home because we do not have car anymore, and I guess this was also the first day the storm Gener struck the Philippines (such a lucky day hahaha!). We just ate simple lunch, spaghetti, taco, and the cake my cya-er sisters gave me. It is not much but I felt happy, it's like I became a bit younger (let's just say, im still 19?? haha!) and even though I did not received gifts but still im happy! (the CAKE was a GIFT, though.. :))))

That day, as I kept on thanking my friends for greeting me, I thought of how blessed I am for having them (Yes cheesy!!) But kidding aside, I realized that when we get older, we change our views of what really are important (Though, gadgets are great help and somehow necessities for everyday's task). But before, celebrating my birthday with a lunch in a restaurant was a big deal. But now? I rather have conversations with my love ones. I believe that these sentiments of giving great value to people around me started when i opened my heart in knowing who God really is to me. I think without knowing Him, I will still be locked up from my old-self and still not be able to express my joy of having these people.

Normally, we (especially kids) wish of something, which actually referring to a thing, when we celebrate our birthdays but I did it differently and I assumed that  I am becoming more mature na (aba tingin ko dapat lang kasi 20 years old na ako haha!).

And I know that this blog is not that good like the others but I just want to say that the Lord truly blessed me with great people. I can't say anything but THANK YOU. hahaha

Im so speechless, gosh.. (Hindi halata noh hahahaha!!!)

These will be My Baby Steps

Two days ago, I went to National Catholic Charismatic Congress (NCCC) at SMX to facilitate a small group. I was assigned in Being A Friend workshop where youths and other participants thought on how to have friends and have an effective conversation between them. The speakers thought us how to listen effectively, what are the types of listeners and what should we do to become an effective listener. 

After the talk, our facilitator heads divided us to our small group field work. I was assigned to guide them to have atleast four people to have a conversation at MOA. Two of my members are pharmacy students in Binan, Laguna whom are younger than the other two from Iloilo. As we do our task in random conversations, I saw two different views from my groupmates. The youths from my group were just doing there assignment and did not really build quality conversations with people. They were just after the number we need to gather. When I asked them what brought them here at NCCC they said to me, "Requirement kasi ng Prof namin ito eh. Para daw pwede na hindi na nmin pasukan yung isang unit.". I saw some kind of 'forceful' attendance from there statement. But I just have to let it be, because I know that God made His step in coming in to their lives now. That God is starting to build His connection with these sisters from Binan. 

The other two were a bit older than me. They belong to a community (not connected with Ligaya) that encourage them to attend the congress and compared to the younger ones, they have this purpose to complete the task. They were very open to learn something new. They were open to accept the teachings from other communities and willing to find God in there activity. However, being here in Manila was one of there challenges in doing our activity, specifically the use of Tagalog language. They were some how having a difficult time communicating in Tagalog. 

During this event, I realized that not all people are really there for the purpose of knowing God. But without their physical awareness, God has this opportunity to step in to there hearts and make a difference. But it is really our choice to entertain Him and accept Him as a part of our soul and life here on Earth because God gave us our freedom to love Him or not (but it is better if WE DO! HAHA). What ever reasons that we have, we cannot stop Him from entering our lives. He has his own plans for us and  when we feel that He really doing soomething into our lives we need to start opening our hearts, accept, love Him and be the child that He wants us to be.

This was my first time to serve and handle a small group activity, serving an event with Ligaya and meeting people and do random communications (evangilization). I found it exciting because I did not really know what to expect. What will I do or magiging productive ba ako sa araw na yon. As God made his promise in Psalm 31:24 that those who have hope in Him will have strength and courage to face the unknown. Many times I become clueless to some of the activities I attended to. But as God reminded me that He is always with me so why do I need to be worry.


This will be my start (officially) for being the servant of God who will bring souls to heaven through Ligaya and UD-CYA. (Naks.. haha)

CYA (three letters with life-changing power)

CYA, three letters with life-changing power. Why? because wonderful changes came to me when I started accepting them as part of my life. I became more joyful, happier, and even having more friends. Changes with my character - my faith, my perspectives, my hope, my love for my family and friends - became the most wonderful improvements that I observed.

Photo By: Bea Malveda - Punta Fuego Outing

I also encouraged and learned how to express my love and my thoughts by their way of sharing, and how to be more responsible daughter and child of God. Another is that, I experienced to be a leader a my school (which I really do not have any wishful thinking that I would become). Through CYA, I learned to look at people around me as my greatest gifts. Serving and making them happy with full of Joy are my ways of gratitude to God. Most significant was I started to open myself to God, that I am nothing without Him, that He is my savior, my friend, and my father who will guide me in choosing the right path.

I am very thankful to my CYA family for bringing me closer to God. Through them, I started to really enjoy my life. Being one of them is a great blessing from God. Having memories and spending time with them is one of my golden treasures of my heart that can never replaced by any material things. Not just them, God also gives me wonderful friends in school. They are my ENERVONS that kept me hyper everyday.
Truly, opening our hearts to the Lord and humbly accepting that we need Him will bring us overflowing joy, love, and peace in living our life here on Earth.

Kahit anong gawin mong iwas sa Kanya, gagawa at gagawa Sya ng paraan para magkita kayo, at forever mong hindi pagsisisihan ang pagkakataon yon. And there will be time that you will become one of His instruments in finding His lost sheep and bring it back to his arms again.

As for me, CYA is God's instrument in finding ME, His one lost sheep.

I know that God is working in your life. JUST PRAY AND KEEP YOUR SENSES OPEN AND YOU WILL FIND IT.

Love

Love, a four-lettered word that gives incredibly astonishing intangible things. Such as light to those who are in darkness, joy to those who are lonely, peace to those who struggle, hope to those who are hopeless, and comfort to those who are 'unloved'. There are many other wonderful things that Love contributes to the wholeness of a person.


At the same time Love - as a one of the important building blocks - also brings destruction to those who gives to much and have it as an 'excessity' - to others and even to his own self. Love can be the cause of failed marriage, unhappy relationships and others.


Love can give us happiness, encouragements to live, and chance to share it to others and change their lives for the better but misused of this powerful intangible word leads to shattered life, unorganized thoughts, unfulfilled life and other chaos events we could think of.


However, there are some of the ways i could think and share to you to prevent this from happening in our lives: Open your self to others, accept who we are, love unconditionally, know the limits, observe and share, establish our self-worth, appreciate the things that surrounds with joyful hearts, grow up with appropriate apprehensions and most effective of all, KNOW GOD AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT LOVE IS and how it can be shared and positively change a person's life.


Love wisely and Live happily.


Godbless everyone!


GOD loves US ALL..

Precious

Precious...

This is the name of the main character from the book “PUSH”, a book that encourages people to push themselves to do things that they are afraid and tired of doing to free them from the horror of their pasts.

Precious is a 16-year old illiterate child molested by her own father and caused her to be a mother of two babies. This traumatic event makes her think about stop breathing and die; sit still and wished that people will not judge her for what she experienced. But when she entered an alternative education for her situation, she met people who had seen her for who she really is, somebody who is special, who can do things best and beautiful just like her name. These people gave her the light to write her thoughts (even though she does not know how to write) by imagining of what letters does the word she was thinking just to let go of her emotions of anger, sadness, hatred, etc.

In life, we experience events that make us feel that it is better if we are dead (somehow exaggerated) or feel very angry, hate things and ended up asking ‘WHY ME?!’ and worst comes to worst blaming others or even God for whatever catastrophe happening to our lives. Bad events that gives us the feeling of lost and loneliness that pulls us hundreds of feet below the ground. But all we need is a bit glimpse of light to see a small path, maybe towards people who are greatly important to us, that will again turn our life back to normal.

I always believe that everything is happening for a purpose. We just need to find things that will guide us throughout the journey. Family, friends, God... It is only ourselves who know what we really NEED to keep a tight grip to our life. Having people who we deeply love is our strongest lamp throughout the night. The lamp that will never be empty of light, which will make us stand firm and keep holding to the end of our season.

Live life by loving people for they are PRECIOUS.




Credits: image.google.com: http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&biw=1440&bih=783&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsb&tbnid=DdZi1nIPZ_R7-M:&imgrefurl=http://sandalsandsnowshoes.blogspot.com/2010/05/precious-by-sapphire.html&docid=ViGR0Dz_LgjUBM&imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsE1XX3OHYMHCU-pbey04vZrAUhTL-URhNphrmO7oKdlnVzHlW0NVEHbWSnCioyDm_QxrXKgXlfzZ6x-XYqMZ01nHtNJyoJ7WXaNEOk6ISaDm1-CejRbke3U2kh5u6f5YaJt_-IsdHkrA/s1600/precious.jpg&w=389&h=600&ei=cQt8T4zgOtCTiQfnmuXECQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=460&sig=116625132389436943178&page=1&tbnh=144&tbnw=93&start=0&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:70&tx=32&ty=66

Mask

Every one of us has a mask. Mask that we use to hide true self, emotions and feelings. When we are outside of our house, we often wear the ‘Happy’ mask, something that will lighten our aura for the whole day. Other people do not have an idea for what does that mask is hiding? What self, emotions and feelings can be found behind that mask? Some of us do not dare to explore these things because we have the possibility of having wrong assumptions.


I, myself, wear masks. I admit it. When I’m at school or other places, I wear the mask of courage, happiness, kindness, or anything that will make me feel better. Something that people will be happy for me. Some things that will make me feel confident enough to face the challenges that await me. But when I’m at home, I do not know what kind of mask I wear. I think I do not wear mask. That is why I became clumsy, irresponsible, impatient, impulsive and someone who can trigger the ‘world war III’. Why do I wear mask? Well, I think I cannot be clumsy, irresponsible, and impatient and will trigger world war III outside so I better yet be someone who can put things together.


However, masks do have holes. Holes that will somewhat show your true self. As for me, my mask has many holes. My holes are already mentioned above and these things hurt me so much. I always control myself not to become clumsy, irresponsible, impatient and impulsive but there are things that put me into failure. These obstacles in controlling my negative side give me burden. My parents become disappointed and mad at me because I failed to do things right. Yes, I do become great at school but when it comes to our family, I somehow become a failure. This gives me a feeling that I am happier at school than my house. Every weekend, there is no time that my parents will not be angry towards me. I feel that I often give them heart ache, someone who kept them disappointed and can shorten their life span. These things scratched my mask and somewhat add another hole. But then, I’m always do my best to fix things, there are just events and situations that is very uncontrollable.


Some people say, “Just be yourself”. Well I do not know what my real self is. I thought I knew. But when I reflect, I do things differently. I am different at school and at home. I think I’m a total disaster at home and an achiever at school. Now that I just said these things, I will try to know who I really am. And I pray to God that I can be able to find it before it is too late. Maybe you might give me a clue, haha!.


P.S. I do not put my parents into blame. I am not giving them a bad image. I think I have always the problem and not them.